Researchers from La Trobe University surveyed almost 2000 parents nationally, finding sex education at home had been left more to mothers.
Despite high levels of sexual literacy in both genders, women were more likely than men to initiate discussions about sex (32.3 per cent compared to 23.9 per cent) or emotional aspects of relationships (38.2 per cent versus 22.4).
The report was led by Professor Jennifer Power, Deputy Director of La Trobe's Australian Research Centre in Sex Health and Society, with funding from the Australian Department of Health, Disability and Ageing.
Professor Power said traditional gendered expectations meant mothers had long been tasked with emotional caregiving in the home.
“Talking to kids about sex seems to be part of this,” Professor Power said.
“If men feel less compelled or equipped to engage with their kids on issues relating to sex and relationships, we risk reinforcing the cultural stereotype that men shouldn’t speak about these issues or seek help.”
The study surveyed 1918 parents of children aged from five to 18. Most respondents (67 per cent) were women and most were heterosexual.
Most respondents had high levels of sexual literacy, but while men were more confident discussing sex with their partner, women took the wheel when it came to informing their children.
Of those who did discuss sex and relationships with their children, taking into account age-appropriate topics, both parents were most likely to be confident talking about body image (45 per cent), sexual safety (39 per cent) and puberty (38 per cent), while most were much less confident talking about more intimate subjects including masturbation (12 per cent) and sexual satisfaction (13 per cent).
The most common barriers to discussing sex and relationships were child discomfort or refusal to engage (28.9 per cent), parental discomfort (17 per cent), parental fear of saying the wrong thing (12.4 per cent) and uncertainty about how to start a conversation (11.4 per cent).
One in three parents of older children (grades 10-12) felt their child was only “slightly” or “not at all” prepared for sex and relationships.
Just over half agreed that relationships and sex education at school was appropriate for their child but one in four (25.2 per cent) said they were unsure how it was taught.
Less than half (45 per cent) said they had actually spoken about Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) and 46 per cent about contraception.
More than 40 per cent were extremely or very worried their child may already be accessing inappropriate sexual content online.
Professor Power said parents were uncertain how to initiate conversations about sex and worried about saying the wrong thing. They were also uncertain what information was age appropriate.
Children, and particularly teenagers, also often shut down conversations or refused to engage.
“Talking to kids about sex is awkward and embarrassing for everyone,” Professor Power said.
“We know from other research that young people want to learn about the mechanics of sex – what it looks like, what it feels like, how to talk about sex with a partner. But they aren’t having these conversations with parents or in school-based sex education.
“No one finds it easy. Our advice to parents is to keep it light and positive. Don’t come in with a lecture on what not to do. Take every opportunity you can find to raise these issues. If something comes up on the radio when you are driving, say something.
The research makes a series of recommendations to enhance support and resources for parents – particularly fathers – to speak more openly with their children about sex and relationships.
The report - Beyond the Talk: Supporting parents and carers to speak with children about sex, relationships and consent - will be launched in Adelaide on 15 September alongside a young people’s sexual health summit.
The summit will discuss action for improving young people’s sexual health, led by the Australian Research Centre in Sex Health and Society’s 13-member youth advisory board.
It will be attended by more than 50 young people, including Australia’s youngest-ever Senator, Charlotte Walker.
Let's talk about sex (maybe):
- Parents are most likely to be very confident talking with their children about body image (45%), sexual safety (39%) and puberty (38%).
- Mothers are more likely than fathers to initiate discussions about sex (32.3% vs 23.9%) or the emotional aspects of relationships (38.2% vs 22.4%).
- Parents are more likely to start conversations about sex (29.7%) than children (14.9%) but in about one third (30%) of homes, no one initiates discussions.
- Accounting for age-appropriate conversations, few parents reported feeling confident speaking about intimate sexual subjects such as masturbation (12%) or sexual satisfaction (13%).
- About a third (30%) said they were very confident discussing contraception, 30% were very confident discussing STIs and 26% were very confident discussing condom use.
- Less than half (45%) said they have actually spoken about STIs and 46% about contraception.
- The most common barriers to discussing sex with children were child discomfort or refusal to engage (28.9%), parental discomfort (17%), parental fear of saying the wrong thing (12.4%) and parental uncertainty about how to start a conversation (11.4%).
- One in three parents (32.3%) of older children (grades 10-12) felt their child was only “slightly” or “not at all” prepared for sex and relationships.
Professor Power is available for interview. The full study is available on request.
Media enquiries
Robyn Grace – r.grace@latrobe.edu.au, 0420 826 595
