{"id":42674,"date":"2024-02-15T09:45:41","date_gmt":"2024-02-14T22:45:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.latrobe.edu.au\/mylatrobe\/?p=42674"},"modified":"2024-02-20T16:20:46","modified_gmt":"2024-02-20T05:20:46","slug":"how-to-help-someone-who-has-experienced-sexual-harm","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.latrobe.edu.au\/mylatrobe\/how-to-help-someone-who-has-experienced-sexual-harm\/","title":{"rendered":"How to help someone who has experienced sexual harm"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Content warning:<\/em> This article discusses sexual harm, including sexual assault and sexual harassment. If you are currently in distress, please contact 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) for support. If you are in immediate danger, call 000.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone tells you they\u2019ve experienced sexual harm<\/a>, it can be confronting. You might be unsure what to say or how to respond. Here are some tips on what you can do if someone discloses to you that they\u2019ve experienced sexual harm.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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  1. Listen<\/strong> – Hear what they say and try not to interrupt. Let them talk at their own pace and show them you’re listening. Make eye contact, nod, and don\u2019t worry if they stop talking for a while \u2013 silences are okay.\u202f<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  2. Believe<\/strong> – Try not to overdo the questions because this can make it seem like you doubt their story. It\u2019s important that your friend sees you\u2019re on their side and that you support them.\u202f <\/li>\n\n\n\n
  3. Validate<\/strong> – Tell your friend that what they\u2019re feeling is valid. Let them know you think their feelings are real and normal by repeating the feeling word they\u2019ve used (e.g. \u2018it\u2019s okay that you feel scared\u2019). Acknowledge that you have feelings about it too but try to keep the focus on your friend.\u202f<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  4. No blame<\/strong> – Unfortunately, in our society, it\u2019s not uncommon for victims to be blamed for their experience of violence. Try to avoid questions such as \u2018Why did you go there?\u2019 and \u2018Why did you go out with him?\u2019 because they might make your friend think they\u2019re responsible for what happened. <\/li>\n\n\n\n
  5. Ask<\/strong> – If you feel a bit helpless, ask your friend what sort of help they\u2019d like from you. They\u2019re not expecting you to solve the problem, and you\u2019ve already done a lot just by listening. Asking will also help your friend think about what to do next. It\u2019s important that your friend trusts you and feels like they\u2019re in control of their experience. If you think someone else needs to know (e.g. a lecturer\/tutor or other trusted adult), tell your friend first. Together you can think about who can be trusted, but only tell them when your friend is okay with it. <\/li>\n\n\n\n
  6. Get help<\/strong> – Talk with your friend about what would help stop the behaviour (if it is still happening), or what they feel they want to do. Encourage your friend to contact La Trobe\u2019s Safer Community Service or the Health, Wellbeing and Inclusion student support teams who can support your friend to make decisions and understand options.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    What is La Trobe’s Safer Community service?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    Safer Community<\/a> is a free, confidential support service for students and staff who experience concerning, threatening, inappropriate or uncomfortable behaviour, including sexual harm. Safer Community will listen, believe and support you, and will work with you to help you decide on a course of action that is right for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Safer Community will tell your friend up front what types of disclosures might trigger formal processes (such as misconduct or workplace behaviours policies). If after disclosing, your friend decides to make a formal report, they will not be forced to participate in any subsequent formal processes the university takes. Safer Community can put in place arrangements that keep your friend and the community safe. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Contact Safer Community:<\/p>\n\n\n\n