The Peers Outsmarting Homophobia (POSH) booklet

For same sex attracted young people, workers, families and friends.

 
 

Peers Out Smarting Homophobia (POSH) booklet.
Belief 3: Same sex attraction is a phase in young people.

The POSH booklet can be downloaded here

boy with rainbow flag

Check out some useful websites.

It doesn't matter if your sexual attractions are permanent or temporary. Your personal feelings are important and valid. The belief that same sex attractions are a phase in confused young people who are ‘easily influenced’ is common in the heterosexual community. Freud may have contributed to this belief when he suggested that lesbians were immature women who would become heterosexual when they ‘grew up’. The belief that their child will grow out of their same sex attractions may be used by parents and friends to feel better when they can’t deal with their child or friend’s sexuality. As human beings we often use denial to protect us from difficult situations.

Saying to a young person that this is a phase may help others feel better in the short run but is very damaging to the same sex attracted young person. Regardless of whether or not same sex attractions are a phase for a particular young person, their sexual feelings are real to them and should be respected. To say that homosexuality is a ‘phase’ is insulting because it implies that it is a confused lesser state and that only heterosexuality is the ‘real thing’.

For many young people, same sex sexual attractions are not a phase and they continue throughout their lives. Like young heterosexuals, they need their feelings and choices to be affirmed by those around them.

How young people outsmarted this belief.

Christmas last year my sister read a sms from a guy I was having a relationship with and this upset me. I was so upset and mum didn’t understand why … so I told her. She was not very supportive and she went through denial and was telling me it was just a phase. But then I started dating a guy in my own town …. I told mum about this guy and she didn’t like it, so I told her I will never change and she had to think of it from my perspective, I told her how hard it had been for me and I needed someone. Finally my mum accepted me as being gay but I understand it was hard for her as her mother had left her father for another women. Ted 16 years
girl with ball

I am proud, mentally healthy, strong, young lesbian. Done deal. Not confused, not going through a phase, not the result of a domineering mother/father…and apparently not contributing to the survival of the species (thanks John Howard!)
Abbey 20 years
boy with flag

I first figured out that I had a crush on my best friend when I was 12. I thought it might be a 6 December, 2007hen I was 13, I realised that it was probably not a phase, and that I in fact might be bisexual or even gay. This didn’t really bother me. I kept it to myself though because I wasn’t sure. When I was 14, I had sorted my sexuality out in my own mind and was ready to tell other p 28 May, 2007 and to other people over the next 6 months. I never had a bad reaction, and I'm very comfortable with my sexuality. I have a wonderful boyfriend who I've been with for nearly a year now, and I'm very happy in life. Stephan 18 years
girl on phone

I am attracted to both males and females…I’ve known about this since I was about 13 years old but am only just recently coming out. I don’t think it’s a phase as I have been this way for most of my life.
Monica 18 years
girl smiling

I didn't tell my Dad until almost 12 months after my mum found out. He was great at fist, but then did a 180 and started challenging my feelings - he would ask ‘since you've not slept with a guy, how do you know?’ and he would give me condoms, almost encouraging me to go and ‘Try it out.’ That stuff really upset me at the time, but thankfully my mum had started to come around and support me. I usually just throw it back at him and ask the same thing ‘well you've not slept with a guy either, so how do you know?’ To this day he is still unsure of my sexuality, however it doesn't matter as much to him. We agree to disagree about how one knows whether they are gay or not. Sabrina 19 years


 

 

Content Approved by: Head of School
Page maintained by: Lynne Hillier
Last Updated: 28 May, 2007
28 May, 2007