Language and Academic Skills
Reducing Wordiness
Reduce the number of “is” sentences
They often involve redundant introductory phrases and the subject becomes “buried”.
- Wordy
- One of the important benefits of fire is in forestry where fires often aid in the regeneration of forests.
- More concise
- Forests benefit from the regenerating effects of fire.
Note how the subject now dominates the sentence.
Reduce weak beginnings to sentences – such as “it is”, “there is/are”
- Wordy
- There are four processes that must be adopted.
- More concise
- Four processes must be adopted.
Use active verbs rather than passive verbs
- Wordy
- The participants were contacted by the interviewer.
- More concise
- The interviewer contacted the participants.
Use verb forms rather than noun forms – note how the noun form generally involves another verb as well as prepositions.
- Wordy
- A proposition was made by the researchers that indicated that x was correlated with y.
- More concise
- The researchers indicated that x was correlated with y.
Place the citation at the end of the sentence
- Wordy
- In a study by Johnson and Johnson (1996) it was found that Californian grey whales migrate up to 18,000 km yearly.
- More concise
- Californian grey whales migrate up to 18,000 km yearly (Johnson & Johnson, 1996).
This doesn’t mean that you should always write like this, but if the majority of your sentences take this form your writing will be more direct and much less cumbersome. Note too that the focus of your sentence is on the topic, not on the citation.
Use one word modifiers instead of prepositional phrases
- Wordy
- The dog with rabies…, The determination of rainfall…
- More concise
- The rabid dog…, Rainfall determination…
Eliminate unnecessary “who”, “that”, “which” clauses
- Wordy
- All applicants who are interested in the job must…, The system which is most efficient and accurate…
- More concise
- All interested job applicants must…, The most efficient and accurate system…
- Or better still
- All applicants must…
(one wouldn’t be applying if not interested, and the modifier “job” is redundant)
Avoid wordy “filler” phrases
- at this point in time … (now)
- it is clear that … (clearly)
- in view of the fact that … (because, since)
- concerning the matter of … (about)
- the possibility exists that … (may, could etc.)
Eliminate words which say the same thing
- each individual
- basic fundamentals
- important essentials
- end result
- past history
- future initiatives
- completely finish
Note too the redundancies in the following. The more general word should be deleted.
- large in size
- red in colour
- heavy in weight
- unusual in nature
- field of mathematics
- time period
Avoid stating the obvious
- Wordy
- Some researchers have argued that theory a is more persuasive than theory b; others have argued the opposite. Thus there are many opinions on this subject.
Clearly, the second sentence should be deleted.
Joining sentences can reduce wordiness
Writers often think that a sentence is getting too long so they put a full stop and create a new sentence. However, this is often a wordy process for to make the next sentence clear the subject has to be re-stated. Joining the two sentences often eliminates wordiness.
- Wordy
- The vegetable industry is the second largest horticultural sector in Australia. The vegetable industry is a significant contributor to the Australian export market.
- More concise
- The vegetable industry is the second largest horticultural sector in Australia and contributes significantly to our export market.
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